4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
