I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
