I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
