i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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