you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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