Nicole vs. Life
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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