Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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