I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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