Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
