In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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