We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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