four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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