Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
even my farts smell like vagina
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They took my balls.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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