is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize