so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
