everyone is single if you try hard enough
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
