He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
