Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
