I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
