I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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