There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
