she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You were trust falling into bushes
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