i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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