toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
