how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
