god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize