the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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