i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
