But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
