I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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