Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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