you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
