I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
