Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
