i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
