Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
