I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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