Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just want nice things and good sex
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
