giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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