She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
