did you get engaged???
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
