my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
