Please, let me fuck your mom
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We need to get me chipped asap
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
