I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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