HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
