I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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