Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
