I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
