I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
