I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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