Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
