would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
