That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
