i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
