is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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