oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
