You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
