I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
