my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
