so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
