Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
