Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
