I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
