Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
