im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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