oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
