who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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